This is me and Stachow at South of the Border in South Carolina during our road trip almost two years ago. Stachow has been having a really hard time of it recently, so I decided the best way to remedy that was to publicly humiliate her by singing her praises online. Because that’s how the future was envisioned when the internet was created.
Stachow is one of the five closest people in my life, people who are my heart and soul. Let me tell you what kind of person Stachow is. She’s the kind of friend who will drive hours to hang out with you just for an evening, on more than one occasion. She’s the kind of friend who will not let a freak snowstorm keep her from joining you for Mardi Gras and will hop on the next Greyhound so she can spend just 24 hours with you in your beloved city. She’s the kind of friend who will hear the story of you literally shitting your pants at Saks and not only not judge you but love you all the more for it. She’s the kind of friend who fangirls over the same shit as you with even more intensity than you. She’s the kind of friend who will hear you go on and on and ON about Drew Brees and Saints football and not give a shit about that but give a shit about you. She’s the kind of friend who will push you through the last year of college, no matter how hard it is and how much you want to give up, and will reward you at the end by staying up until 4 in the morning watching Supernatural b/c WHAT IS HAPPENING TO US AH NEXT DISC NEXT DISC! She’ll listen to you whine and complain and cry with no judgment and for as long as needed. She’ll suggest a senior skip day and spend an entire afternoon recreating The Departed and pretending to be the kraken in Boston harbor. She’ll get swine flu with you (I still blame it on when we saw Iron Man 2). She’ll go get McDonald’s with you any time of day or night when college was just too much. She’ll welcome you with open arms in London when you still aren’t really friends. She’ll buy you Jaffa Cakes b/c she knows all about your various obsessions. She’ll appreciate when you send her a kind of creepy photo collage of your friendship for a Christmas present. I’m pretty sure she’d physically harm someone if I asked her to. And she’s a tough, ambitious, and talented mofo who will achieve everything she wants no matter how frustrating it is right now b/c she said she would live in London AND SHE DID she said her Brooklyn self would get a license and a car AND SHE DID she said she would live in nature AND SHE IS and she said “you’re stuck with me forever AHAHAHA” and we are. And I love her more than I love fast food, so you know this shit is legit.